He Said, She Said (Part 3): 4 Practical Ways to Avoid Gossip

In part one of this blog, we discussed the definition of gossip, and in part two, we discussed how to identify it. In this part, we’ll dive into four practical ways to avoid gossip.

1. Change the subject immediately

If someone starts gossiping, one way to avoid it is to change the subject immediately. Doing this works well for me. If I find myself in a conversation that is heading in the direction of gossip, changing the subject immediately almost always helps. Refusing to acknowledge gossip isn’t rude. However, gossiping is.

2. Avoid spending too much time with groups of people who gossip

The Bible tells us that bad company can ruin good character (1 Corinthians 15:33). Be watchful of the company you keep. If particular people do nothing but gossip, maybe you shouldn’t spend much time with them. Whether we believe it or not, the company we keep eventually reflects what we value. Spending too much time in gossiping environments can affect your heart. Though we can’t change others, we can be responsible for ourselves. And this tip isn’t a charge to be judgmental, but discerning. If you know spending too much time around gossip affects your heart, we’re called to protect it (Proverbs 4:23). Don’t leave room for temptation.

3. Call it out

Sometimes it takes bluntly calling it out and saying, “We shouldn’t talk about this” to see change. This may not resonate well with people, but that’s okay. Hopefully, people will agree and try harder not to gossip. However, sometimes standing up for what’s right means ruffling feathers. If people are upset that you don’t want to gossip, that reflects their character and heart, not yours.

4. Suggest prayer or direct conversation instead

When someone is talking about someone else negatively, suggest praying about the situation instead of gossiping about it. You can also suggest the person go speak directly to the other person. Most times, this will shut down the gossip, and it also places a microscope on the gossiper’s intentions. If the intention behind sharing information is to find a resolution and seek peace, they should have no issue praying or having a direct conversation.

One last thing...

I get it; sometimes, we just need to vent. Venting is much different than gossip. In many cases, venting is okay, especially with a trusted mentor, counselor, or confidant. We’re broken, fallen humans who come in contact with other broken, fallen humans, so there’s bound to be some conflict. However, in the end, venting should be for the purpose of creating a solution. If your venting session was solely for the purpose of bashing someone because of what they did or said, then it’s harmful gossip.

Ephesians 4:29 says, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Our second commandment from the Lord is to love one another. I have found that one amazing way we can love people is to not speak poorly about them.

I hope this blog series on gossip has been helpful. If you missed parts one and two, click the links to read.

With love,