Living Loved: A Single’s Guide for Valentine’s Day
Is it just me, or does it feel like everyone around us is finding their “person,” getting married, having babies, and sharing their life with someone? You’ve probably noticed the pink and red hearts, chocolate, and teddy bears in every store for the last month. It has either made you feel nauseous, sad, joyful, or indifferent.
And if you’re anything like me, you said, “oh, yeahhh, Valentine’s Day IS coming up,” as if it switched dates this year or something. Lately, I never remember this holiday until it’s approaching.
But maybe you’re not like me at all. Maybe you dread Valentine’s Day because it reminds you that you’re single and don’t want to be. Maybe this holiday reminds you of a painful heartbreak. Maybe you couldn’t care less about Valentine’s Day and wish everyone would stop making such a big deal out of it.
Whichever side of the spectrum you fall on, I get it, and I’ve been there. My heart has compassion for you. My singleness has been both beautiful and difficult. There’s room and grace for it all.
I desire to see a world of people who are full of love. I pray that we rest in the truth that the God of the universe hand-crafted us (Psalm 139:14) and loves us so dearly.
I desire that we receive love, give love, and live loved.
What does it mean to live loved?
On this journey of being more emotionally healthy, God revealed to me that I struggle with feeling loved. This is because of a number of things: trauma, heartbreak, you name it. But the beautiful thing about Jesus dying on the cross is redemption. Everything His blood touches is healed and restored.
Because of Jesus’ death on the cross, we can have confidence that we are loved. Why? Because of what John 3:16 says: “For God so loved the world, He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” You weren’t excluded from that number.
So, how do we live like we’re fully known and loved by our living God?
Be honest and vulnerable
It’s okay to be frustrated. If Valentine’s Day isn’t your vibe right now and you’re struggling in your singleness, please be honest about that. Fake positivity doesn’t serve anyone. Acknowledge your feelings, express them in a healthy way (journal, pray, talk to a trusted friend, color, etc.), and then gently place them at the feet of God. The Lord welcomes your frustration and heartache. He wants you to invite Him into your feelings (Philippians 4:6), so He can blanket them in truth and remind you of His everlasting love.
Know that good is coming
Good is coming. I didn’t say it, God did. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. And Psalm 84:11 says, “...the Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”
Notice these promises are conditional. They are specifically for the people who love God and live according to God’s standards. Be encouraged that we don’t have to do this alone, though. In fact, we can’t. That’s why we need Jesus. He is the way, the truth, and the life. If you stay close to Him, you will love God more and learn to live a pleasing life to God. Because of Jesus, we get to partake in the good that God has for us. Don’t lose hope, friend.
Celebrate your life
I believe any chance you get, you should celebrate the life God blessed you with. Valentine’s Day is what you make it. This day is all about love, so why not do something loving for yourself or maybe even someone else? Here are some ideas:
Treat yo’self!
I live by this motto probably a little too much. But anyway, get yourself something you’ve been eyeing for a while! What better time to splurge a little? I’ll be treating myself to a workout class and Thai food (super pumped about this).
(Gal)entines or (Guy)lentine’s Day
Invite some of your other single friends over for a fun night! Order food, play games, or even go out and just enjoy each other’s company!
Serve your community
Maybe there’s a shelter you can serve at or an event that could use your help. Sometimes serving those in need and doing something outside of ourselves increases gratitude and helps put life back into perspective.
Do nothing
I’d be remiss if I left out the option to do absolutely nothing! You don’t even have to acknowledge the day as something special if you don’t want to. You can treat it like any other day and go on about your business.
Love is all around us
If you’re single, Valentine’s Day can be just as fulfilling as being in a couple. Love exists in more ways than romantic love. It’s okay to desire it, but know that you’re not missing out on love. If you’re in relationship with Jesus, you’ve already experienced the greatest love there is.
Be encouraged, friend
