His Blood Covers Mental Illness, Too: Looking for Jesus in Times of Darkness

mental health

May 12

Trigger warning: This article includes mention of mental illness and suicide. Please be advised before continuing to read.

In 2019 I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), clinical depression, and anxiety.

“Sheesh,” I thought to myself while sitting in my therapist’s office. I felt a combination of fear, confusion, and relief. Even though I finally had language for what I had been feeling and experiencing for many years, something felt incredibly scary.

My story is riddled with sexual abuse and other trauma. Pain felt like my natural state of being for many years, and my story is like so many others. After three attempts to take my own life and a decades-long battle to see the value of my life, therapy helped me finally come to the conclusion that Jesus’ blood covers mental illness, too.

It can be really difficult to talk about a mental health struggle, but let’s do it anyway. In honor of May being Mental Health Awareness Month, here are a few reminders about mental health.

Your church and family of origin got it wrong

If you’re anything like me, your family and church growing up told you that mental illness wasn’t real and you just needed to pray more. Not only is it incredibly harmful to dismiss someone’s battle with mental illness, but it’s also not a true representation of broken humanity in desperate need of Jesus. I think people forget that Jesus came and died for a reason. Because of sin, there is brokenness in this world. This includes illness and sickness of all kinds.

A biblical example

Elijah was afraid, depressed, and wanted to die (1 Kings 19:1-8). In this instance, the Lord acknowledged Elijah’s pain by sending an angel that told Elijah exactly what he needed to do to keep going. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t that Elijah needed to pray more.

To the people who think those who struggle with mental illness just need to pray more, what makes you think we aren’t praying? I prayed day in and day out. Yet praying alone still wasn’t enough.

This leads to my next point…

It’s OK to get help

Our entire relationship with Jesus rests on the unwavering truth that we need Him. We need help, and we can’t do life alone. So it’s okay to seek help. It’s not Jesus or therapy. It’s Jesus and therapy.

When I prayed for help, the Lord blessed me with the opportunity to get into therapy. Therapy was His answer, not “just pray more.” Does this mean that Jesus isn’t enough? Absolutely not. But it does mean that, like in the Bible, God still uses people to restore and heal. Remember Moses? Esther? Paul? Each of them was used in a special way to point people to Jesus. Counselors and psychiatrists are part of God’s plan for the total restoration of humanity. To say they aren’t is to limit God’s power.

Therapy, medication, and Jesus are what I needed. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Unapologetically get the help you need.

There’s Hope, and His Name is Jesus

I used to think my struggle with mental illness would be the end of me. I honestly didn’t think I would make it past 25 years old. But because Jesus died on the cross for us, we have hope that life won’t be like this forever. It was never meant to be a life of pain, illness, or heartbreak. When you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, your eternity will look much different. There will be no more sadness, mental illness, bitterness, pain, or heartache. And we get to experience a glimpse of that eternity now.

Even if things look bleak now, I promise there’s another side! I promise God is with you. Today, I’m writing from a place of healing; praise God!

I have recently been able to stop taking antidepressants and manage my mental health more holistically. Therapy and medication gave me the opportunity to learn effective methods for managing mental illness. I am now 3 years free of suicidal thoughts and attempts, and I no longer need the antidepressants. God can do more than we could ever imagine.

Medication was a tool from the Lord. Without taking something to help with the chemistry of my brain, I wouldn’t have been healed enough ween off of it. Jesus was more than enough to heal the imbalances in my brain; medication was simply the tool He used to keep me living so that I could experience that healing.

Some people won’t agree with that, but oh well. I stopped caring what other people thought about how I should handle my mental health a long time ago. I could no longer afford to be weighed down with opinions about this. It was quite literally about life or death.

I hope my candidness helps you find comfort in knowing you’re not alone.

Mental Health Resources

If you read nothing else, my friend, please know that help is available, healing is possible, and hope is already here.

Here are a few resources to aid your mental health.

Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: dial 988

You can call or text this number 24/7.

Affordable counseling options:

Better Help
Talkspace Online Therapy
Christ Community Chapel - This is my church, and they offer clinical counseling services

If you have other resources, please comment on this post or send me a DM on Instagram @jordynimari. You may also use DM to reach out with prayer requests.